One of the things I hate the most are roaches. Any kind really. I just hate them. Call me a cry baby but I cry and scream at the top of my lungs at the sight of a roach. I’d ask the nearest person to me to kill it for me and take it away from me.
But as always, things change. LOL
I will mark February 13, 2018 as the day when I was able to kill the most roaches by myself. 6 in fact.
Yes. I will share this account with you only because I want to.
I live in a condo with my best friend. He is a neat freak. Sort of. So whenever our place was on the brink of stinky filthy, we stayed home and cleaned it together, thoroughly. So, there were seldom times when we encountered roaches running around. Which was a good thing. Really. I thank God for that.
But of all the places I’ve stayed in, this latest condo gave me the biggest scare of my life. In this condo, I was able to face my fear and kill a bunch of those disgusting roaches alone.
It all started after I came home from a very long meeting. No one was there but me. So I decided to settle down and dress up to work out for once. I took my workout clothes and went inside the bathroom to change. As I was undressing, I spot a slim pair of antennas just moving inside the roll of tissue paper by the sink and because of my instinct I hit it enough for Roach number 1 to crawl out.
By then I was half-naked, inside a closed bathroom. The roach was sitting there in between where I was and were the door was at. I tried making loud sounds for it to crawl away. To my dismay, it just stayed in place, waiting, like it was telling me “Hey, you are so stuck in here, let me just hang a bit more to scare you”. I searched around for something to hit it with and again, NOTHING. Just a few bottle of shampoos.
I took a long breath, wore my shirt and took my shampoo bottle and threw at it. It moved, far enough for me to reach the bathroom door without Roach 1 jumping on me. I quickly ran out of the bathroom and opened the kitchen cabinet to retrieve the most reliable weapon I had, BAYGON, a small can of it. How I wished it were bigger. Nice choice woman.
I sprayed long and hard feet away from it. It ran like crazy, went out of the bathroom while I continued spraying. It zoomed passed me and looked for a way out, it disappeared somewhere inside the storage room we had. And of course I knew there were only two things that could happen, Roach 1 DYING on its own or It disappearing inside the drainage, falling til its death.
Then again, maybe it survives, like almost all the roaches in the universe. I remember my teacher telling me that the cockroach was the strongest animal in the world. That it can survive a nuclear fallout and can crawl under the thinnest areas you can imagine. It’s on the tube if you don’t believe me.
So take a breather, and started my workout in the sala, when in the corner of my eye I see Roach 2 crawling on the wall from the bathroom, towards me. FUCK. it was a different roach, seemed like a teenage one. I grabbed my slipper and hit the wall with all my might, I hear a crunch. I know it died. YES. I said.
I texted my room-mate “WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME?” I wanted him home so he could save me from this.
He answers, “Later”
I go back to the bathroom and find another Roach ( hopefully the first one) lying back first on the floor. It’s probably dead, poisoned to death, I said, a few steps away I spot two baby roaches on its backs too.. tiny.. dead.. WTF… WTF!!! Did I just kill an entire family? Alone???? IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE???
Now paranoia was creeping in… WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY CRAWLING CLOSER TO ME.. AREN’T THEY SUPPOSE TO RUN TO SAFER GROUNDS MEANING THE DRAINAGE INSTEAD OF INSIDE THE CONDO?????
I was scared to my core, I went out of the bathroom, I turn to see a frantic Roach number 5 ( if the one I killed in the bathroom the 1st one) trying to look for somewhere to hide. I think I sensed me looking at him. I take my spray and started spraying, it goes back inside the storage area, I follow it, I hear it slowly stopping, I know it’s dying slowly… hopefully. I spray some more and closed the door. Whatever.
What was up with tonight, why the number??? Was the condo that filthy? There were barely things or junk inside our place… seriously and it was like what… 11:30 PM????
Don’t they usually come out in the wee hours of the morning, when everyone is sleeping???
I cleaned the places up, threw them in the trash, happy and calm.. again alone.
See, it is true what people say, once you use bug spray on something, there is a high chance of it reaching other bugs and eventually they will start coming out from their hiding places, in a panic. And that leads me to my next scene.
I go inside my room to use the computer, when I hear movement above me. I look up, nothing. Maybe neighbors, I thought or a dog from upstairs walking around. Then again, that was new. Never really hear that kind of movement… ever. I stand up and walk closer to the wall. Still movement, to and fro.
I must be crazy, I say to myself, half laughing. At the back of my mind, I thought to myself, maybe I should buy a new can of bug spray, just in case…. Nah. I said.
The noise continued as I typed, I look up at the ceiling, when above me, where the light was I see another set of antennas moving. FUCK REALLY???? I scream at the top of my lungs and run out of my room. Roach number 6 had wings.
SHIT! It’s the MOTHER!!! I screamed. It flies around room. FUCK, I say. Its spraying fucking eggs! and it’s headed towards me!!!
I look for my spray, SHIT, I left it inside my room. Roach 6 was walking around faster than usual and flew to the curtains, crawling up.
I sprint inside my room, grabbed the can, I shake it, Shit…its almost empty, I grab my slipper, my jacket, my wallet!
I won’t be able to sleep!!!!! I shout at it, like it could understand me. It crawls up and jumps to the next curtain, it falls to the floor and run towards me.
WHAT THE FUCK!!! I’M SORRY I KILLED YOUR FAMILY!! I scream spraying the last bit of spray I had.
I prayed to God at that point. PLEASE just let it die, I cried
I look around for it, I couldn’t find it. SHIT! I said. Great, now I’m definitely not sleeping.
I text my room-mate again, “PLEASE COME HOME”
I wear my slippers and start walking, I see Mama Roach, on its back, wiggling. I spray some more, the bottle finally empty. It stops moving.
I call my best friend while walking to 7-11. I had to get a new can of bug spray, a bigger one. She laughs at the other end of the line as I recount the ordeal I went through minutes ago to her.
“Its Karma.. you left me the other day.” She says.
“Are you kidding me??? really???” I raise my voice, of course it wasn’t true, still I was annoyed.
“Just get yourself another can and clean the place” she says again. I thought about it, maybe tomorrow I say. I get the biggest can I could find. 200 pesos well spent.
As I was walking back to the condo, I contemplated at what I just experienced and I realized a few things.
One, there will be battles that you must fight alone.
Two,in the end, every obstacle makes you a better person.
and Three, buy a bigger bug spray.
I remember a quote by Zig Ziglar, he says,
“F-E-A-R has two meanings:
‘Forget Everything and Run,’ or, ‘Face Everything and Rise.”
I did both.
My experience ended at 12:30 AM on February 14. Fuck.